There was a widow there came all in black
Who knew both horoscope and zodiac.
Since her sweet daddy long-legged spouse
To kill the time her mind she occupied
With divination: her skill was prophecy.
Crysandra to our merry
band was she.
Yes, she knew magic and astrology,
Palm reading, soothsaying, iridology...
With crystals she healed
and would read your feet -
Could even hypnotize a parakeet.
Eight legs she had, eight evil eyes as well;
times a day she cast a magic spell.
She wore an hourglass on her abdomen,
Hourly consulting it for an omen.
She spun out a long channel of silk thread
With which she'd pull up spirits from the dead.
Three times a day into
a trance she'd fall.
Three times three unclean spirits she would call:
Demon, fiend, ghoul, gnome, ogre, banshee,
Goblin, devil - they rose from nethermost
Layers of hell these occult things diverse -
All summoned by
the horrid spider's curse!
She could move mountains with her mind, said she.
Knew well by heart both psi and esp.
The deepest secret of your soul she'd find.
No thought so small but she could read your mind.
All things past,
present, and future she knew,
Yet ever she did beg "WHAT SIGN ARE YOU?"