My tale of woe begins way back in Rome,
The day that Julius Caesar came back home.
They said "We have a crown right here for you,
When in Rome, you do as the Romans do."
Julius Caesar, Julius Caesar - when in Rome you
Do as the Romans do.
All the Romans had a big parade;
Julius Caesar rested in the shade.
Underneath the old Roman arch,
Someone yelled "Beware the Ides of March."
Julius Caesar, Julius Caesar - someone yelled "Beware the Ides of March."
Cassius was a lean and hungry man,
And he had a most malicious plan.
He whispered into Marcus Brutus ear:
"Come on, let's go and have a beer."
Caius Cassius, Caius Cassius - "Come on, let's go and have a beer."
They made the rounds of all the Roman bars,
And Cassius said "You can't just blame the stars.
How much of this Colossus can we stand?
There's tyranny all up and down this land."
Julius Caesar, Julius Caesar - tyranny all up and down the land!
There were evil omens everywhere,
A lioness had kittens in the square.
The ghosts came out and ironed all their sheets,
And they ran around on all the Roman streets.
Ghosts and goblins, ghosts and goblins, ran around on all the Roman streets.
Calpurnia was Julius Caesar's wife.
She tried so very hard to save his life.
"Last night I dreamed that you had lost your head.
Caesar honey come on back to bed."
Calpurnia, Calpurnia, said "Caesar honey come on back to bed."
But Caesar said "I've got to take the dare."
So he walked right up that marble stair.
The killers lay in wait on every side,
And they made three dozen holes in Caesar's hide.
Julius Caesar, Julius Caesar - made three dozen holes in Caesar's hide.
Caesar turned and said "Et tu, Brute?
You know, I really hate to die this way."
Then he felt a fatal puncture and a jab,
And they laid Julius Caesar on a slab.
Julius Caesar, Julius Caesar - laid Julius Caesar on a slab.
Brutus then got up and told the crowd
"I killed this bloody tyrant and I'm proud.
I know there's blood and gore all over me,
But I did it just to set my country free."
Marcus Brutus, Marcus Brutus, did it just to set his country free.
Antony then borrowed all their ears,
Told them "Now's the time to shed your tears.
Here before you lying at your feet
Caesar is a bloody piece of meat."
Antony, Marc Antony said "Caesar is a bloody piece of meat."
Then the Romans all began to shout.
They chose up sides and civil war broke out.
They drafted all the able-bodied men.
Rome would never be the same again.
Julius Caesar, Julius Caesar - Rome would never be the same again.
The moral of this story's not too clear:
Friends are apt to whisper in your ear.
If you're not too sure what's best for you,
When in Rome, you do as the Romans do.
Julius Caesar, Julius Caesar - when in Rome you do as the Romans do.
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